I will apologize in advance. There is a chance that this post might not make any sense. I’m currently suffering from sleep deprivation. No I do not have a newborn. I have a 17 month old who has decided that sleeping is overrated.
I remember the days of waking up every two hours to nurse a hungry newborn. It was incredibly difficult. You all know exactly what I’m talking about. Sure, I was told that they would wake up every 2-3 hours to eat. But people forgot to mention that they also then eat for an hour, so really it’s more like being up every hour! Thankfully, in the big scheme of things, that phase became more manageable and the night feedings fewer. Plus, I was on maternity leave so my brain could function at a slower rate. (can I just plug that there were lots of things people didn’t tell me about having a baby)
I don’t know about you but I thought once they slept through the night regularly, we were home free. Sure, there would be the occasional sleepless night due to illness or nightmares but those would be rare, right? Well, it feels like every couple of weeks there is a “rare” night. This whole last week has been a “rare” week. I’m starting to really question whether or not this rareness is legit…
Sometimes I think that newborn sleep deprivation was actually easier. You learned to function in that state. What has been difficult for me is the back and forth. You get a week of solid sleep and then BAM it’s over. Then again, I’m probably wrong. It’s difficult to have thoughtful opinions this week.
The oddest thing about it all is that I both love and hate this sleepless week. How is that possible? Well, I hate feeling completely exhausted and having to get up and still go to work and take care of Aedan and cook dinner and so on. But on the other hand, I love that he wants me to comfort him. That when he wakes up in the middle of the night, the first thing he says is “mama.” That he wants to get into bed with us and will only fall back asleep if he has one hand on my face and the other around my neck with our heads touching. I know one day he won’t want me so much. So as I’m cursing to myself in the middle of the night, I’m also smiling and soaking in the love between a son and his mama because I know that those type of nights will soon be gone.
And so this quote seemed appropriate…
But I do hope he gives you a break soon 😉
When my first was a baby we were visiting friends who had older kids (6 & 4?) and we were talking about “when he finally sleeps through the night” and my friend laughed and said, “yeah, between bathroom runs and nightmares, we are still waiting for that to happen” … But it’s true! Eli’s almost 3 and we are in and out of his room sometimes 4 times a night! Granted it’s much quicker and easier than newborn wake ups, but I’ve stopped chasing the dream that I’ll get 8 glorious, uninterrupted hours of sleep anytime soon. And you are right, there’s something still wonderful, tender, and magical about those wee hours, even when you’re exhausted.
I’ve also been laughed at for thinking there will be a day when we actually sleep through the night. Eventually it will be us up worrying over when our teenagers will be home… Breaks are nice though!