Yep, it’s that time of year again. For the last few years, I’ve not only stressed about getting my daughter ready for school, but also getting myself ready for classes at UVM.
Going back to school as a mom is chaotic, but while I may have mastered preparing myself for life as a student, this will be my first year on the other side of the desk. That’s right! Starting in late August, I’ll be student teaching. In high school. Which means I have no idea what I’m getting into. I’ve got a whole new set of stresses to worry about. Sometimes I feel like this little boy, totally ready until the reality of back-to-school hits.
But I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve on how to handle all this extra pressure.
Have frequent panic attacks.
Cardio, shmardio. Nothing gets that heart rate up like a good 15-minute session of thinking the world’s coming to an end because you forgot to turn in the emergency contact information form or imagining twenty-five 15 year-olds heckling you as you attempt to take attendance. Just thinking about the logistics of the first day of school gets my heart racing.
Get up early.
And I mean early. Why waste all those hours sleeping when you’re just as productive (if not more so) at 3:30 am after bolting awake from that nightmare where everyone goes to school naked and starving? Have an extra cup of coffee and get working on that to-do list!
Buy the wrong size clothes for your little beanstalk.
Too big or too small, they’ll most likely complain about whatever you pick out, anyway. Why bother with taking them along? Just randomly pick out stuff on Amazon and get it delivered right to your door. Piece of cake.
Blame yourself for all the little mistakes.
Everyone else is doing it. Pour some of that guilt gravy on those stress potatoes and add a side of self-doubt. And while you’re at it…
Eat all the food.
Those leftovers in the fridge? They’re going to go bad anyway, so shoving your face full of mac and cheese and Tuesday’s ravioli is the perfect way to clean out the fridge while calming down and having ‘me time’ at 4 in the morning. And think of all those calories you just burned rocking back and forth on the bathroom floor for 30 minutes! Guilt free eating at it’s best.
And finally, go nuts on your partner any time they tell you to calm down.
Calm? I’ll show you calm! While you’re busy doing tons of crap every morning, day, and night, all they do is snore and go off to work like a happy, little whistling dwarf. Take it out on them. It’s cathartic and it gets your communication check marked off for the day.
But seriously, ladies, this time of year is crazy isn’t it?
I could tell you not to be hard on yourself or not to stress eat, but really, I don’t even listen to myself– I won’t expect you to listen to me, either. Just remember that we’re all freaking out and worried about doing the best for our kids as we help them (and ourselves) prepare to go back to school. So grab a glass of your preferred drink, check out BVTMB’s Back to School Guide, buy yourself a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils, and relax.