Confessions of a Homebody Mom

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Sometimes I feel like I don’t do enough stuff with my children.

I see all these posts on Facebook of moms who take their kids places on a weekly basis – to museums, to science centers, to plays and playgrounds. It’s wonderful to think of the experiences these children are having, and the things they are learning. But I’m much more content to stay home, for a variety of reasons.

I dread packing them all up and driving somewhere (I’ve never been a huge fan of driving, add three kids into the mix and it is truly a dreaded task).

I worry about them getting separated from me, or about them misbehaving in a public place.

It’s also expensive to do many of these activities, and it’s just not in our family budget. But most of all, I just like being home.

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We do educational activities at home, and I try to do crafts and projects with the kids on a weekly basis. And two of my children are in school, one full-time and one half-time, so they get exposure to a variety of things at school as well as occasional field trips. It doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty, though, when I see all these amazing trips other families are taking, and I confessed my feelings to my husband the other night.

His perspective made me feel a lot better, when he reminded me that neither one of us went on weekly outings with our parents when we were young.

We went on a family vacation once a year, went on school field trips, and occasionally would go to a museum or a park as a special treat. Our version of an adventurous outing was a trip to Ames or the local drugstore. We were sent outside to play when we were old enough to know our boundaries. After discussing this with my husband, I felt a lot better about my choice to keep our kids home most of the time.

Please don’t misunderstand me – kudos to you moms who take your kids on outings! You are providing them with incredible experiences and I commend you. I just prefer to stay home most of the time, and I am trying not to feel so guilty about that anymore. Instead of frequent trips to the playground, my kids will play in our backyard. In lieu of science center visits, we will do vinegar and baking soda experiments at our kitchen table. And although they occasionally go on “play dates” to friends’ homes, I enjoy just having them here with me and visiting with their cousins. They learn so much just through playing on their own, and I want them to have the experiences of independence and creativity that my husband and I had as children.

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Staying home together is an experience all on its own. I hope that I am fostering strong sibling bonds between them, as well as teaching them to think and create independently. They really are only little for just a short time, and the memories I have from when I was little and carefree are so treasured. I want to be able to provide our kids with experiences that give them the same kinds of happy memories.

I’m realizing now that a homebody mom can do that just as well as an on-the-go mom, and that is incredibly liberating.

4 COMMENTS

  1. I love this. I live in Michigan and have a very active 2 year old and a new one on the way in a few weeks. I like being at home, but I do feel that guilt. We do a weekly play group with our friends from church and occasionally we will go to the museum down the street, but that’s out of convenience. Honestly, I like my time alone. I don’t want my days packed with play dates. I sometimes fear that my son may miss out on experiences to be around lots of other kids his age, but at the same time, I am more stressed and not as good of a mom when I am packing my days full of activities that leave us both frustrated. It was super helpful to know that we’re not alone in this.

  2. Taking vacations and going on outings strengthens the family in ways that the home environment cannot provide. But that does not mean i take my son on weekly trips nor should anyone feel pressured to do this . Time at home is also equally important.
    Family encursions allow family members to figure out communication and proper skills to work together as a unit. It also provides opportunities to provide coping without the normal routine and and allows family members new problem solving opportunities.
    However, I understand it really comes down to how you want to raise your children and everyone has their own preferences and slightly different style.

  3. Thanks for this blog. We have three children, 6, 3, & 1. We live in the country, and most outings require at least a 2 hour trip. This still doesn’t stop me from worrying that my kids are somehow missing out because we don’t do weekly excursions! I try to reassure myself that my kids know how fresh-mown alfalfa smells, they’ve seen beaver dams up close, can tell you what crop is growing in the fields, etc. We also do baking powder experiments at our table, and we like spending time together at home as a family. Thanks again for your encouragement.

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