Moms Who Inspire: Stacie’s story…

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It’s fitting that my very first blog post comes out today, June 15, the one year anniversary of the birth of my sons. Yes—twins. Overnight, I went from being a wife and the stepmom of two teenage boys to being the working mother of twins.

I had been working at an accounting firm as the office manager for over seven years when I found out I was pregnant. It was difficult to keep this secret from my coworkers because being pregnant was really all I could think about. We had been trying to have a baby for a long time, and I now had two living beings growing inside of me. Oh, and the nausea was constant!

An important milestone for my pregnancy was the ultrasound date to find out the sexes of the babies—we desperately wanted one of them to be a girl. What a blessing that would be for us!  I knew I would need time to process my disappointment if both of the babies were boys. At the 20-week ultrasound, the doctor happily announced that both babies were boys. My husband, Brian, asked her to check again – he wanted to make sure she wasn’t confused – I mean come on, there are two babies in there – it gets confusing. We were both disappointed and shocked. I think it’s hard for a woman, who desperately wants a daughter, to accept that she will never have that dream realized. I’ve seen so many movies of mothers and daughters and wedding dress shopping, but that wasn’t going to happen for me. We both took the news really hard, but after a few weeks we started to look for the bright side: sharing a room and clothes would be easier, and most importantly—not having to pay for the extravagant wedding that I had dreamt of for a daughter.

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I took my maternity leave on June 1. I had gained 45 pounds and I was sick of everyone asking me when I was due, asking me how I felt, and telling me how large or small they thought I looked for carrying two babies. Let’s face it – after the kids were born no one was going to be asking how I was doing – they would be asking about the boys.

I had a planned C-section because the babies were breech and I gave birth to Clark and Dean, 6 lbs 8 oz and 6 lbs 5 oz., respectively. I held my breath until I heard Clark cry and then the tears just poured down  my face. I was really a mother – these creatures who had been kickboxing each other and poking me in the crotch for nine months were real people – my people.

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I thought maternity leave over the summer was going to be so fun – taking them for walks and being outside. I was completely delusional. If you’re a first time mother – you get it. Now think about me with two babies who never ate or slept at the same time no matter how many times I pleaded with them. I barely slept and the thought of packing them up to take them outside was unimaginable.

I heard of a job opening at my Synagogue and asked about it. It’s not that I didn’t love my job – I did – but after the babies were born I knew I would need a job that was more flexible. After two interviews and some negotiations – I took the new job. I couldn’t believe what I was doing – I just had a major life changing experience and now I was going to take a slight pay cut and change my job. Was I nuts? Most likely – at the very least I was sleep deprived. I decided to take a chance to do something I’ve always wanted to do – work at a nonprofit and it would allow me to be able to be there for my kids when they needed me.

I am currently working 40 hours a week – Monday through Friday. Everyone has been extremely understanding when my kids have been sick, which unfortunately has been a lot since they are in daycare three days a week. My mother-in-law watches them the other two days a week and I know how fortunate I am for that. I miss them when I am at work, but I know they are having fun with their friends or  family. They are so happy to see me at the end of the day that it  warms my heart. But after most weekends, I am ready for daycare on Monday! Being away from them helps me to appreciate the time we have together.

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Look, it’s not easy being a mother. In fact, I am writing this now, while my kids are napping because they are home sick from daycare with the stomach flu. I want to be a role model for my boys and I think, so far, I am doing a good job. I believe that God never gives a person more than she can handle and I like to believe He thinks I have strong shoulders.

 

[typography font=”Delius Swash Caps” size=”24″ size_format=”px”]Written By Stacie Gabert[/typography]

I grew up in Merrimack, NH, I now live in Essex Junction with my husband Brian, twin sons Clark and Dean (June 2012), step-sons Connor and Sawyer, and 3 cats. I work full time at Temple Sinai and I will complete my A.S. degree in Business with a focus in Human Resources from Champlain College in 2014. I love reading, music, hiking, and bike riding.

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