Ever since it was legal for me to work, I had a job and often times I had two. I always enjoyed working and have had so many jobs, I can’t even count them all. When I started dairy farming, I took it to a new level. I was working all of the time. 50 – 60 hour weeks were the norm, and I enjoyed it. That paycheck at the end of the week was something I always looked forward to. It was documentation that I worked hard that week and in simple dollar and cents, I could define exactly what I was worth.
When I got pregnant with Stella, I was the manager of a small raw milk dairy. I worked 5 days a week at that farm and also relief milked for two more farms on a regular basis and on the weekends. I was getting three paychecks and random amounts of cash. When I needed or wanted something I bought it, plain and simple.
My pregnancy and unfortunate circumstances at my full time farm job made me take an opportunity that was offered to me as a legal secretary. I took it because of the pregnancy and wanted a new “more stable” and less physically demanding job. However, I continued to milk for two farms before and after work and did so until my 7th month of pregnancy. I now was making “A TON OF MONEY” (in relative terms of course) saving for my little one and feeling pretty damn good about myself.
My due date came and that was the last day I worked. The checks continued to come from my legal secretary job for a few weeks and quickly I was out of money in my personal account.
My legal secretary job did not provide me with a maternity leave. They offered me 6 weeks off (which was the sick days and vacation that I had accrued until my due date). Making plans with my boss, the 6 weeks was fine! Really! I honestly thought that 6 weeks was a super long time and that I would be totally ready and willing to go back to work as a new “working mom”, wicked nice breast pump in hand and ready to take on 6 weeks of backed up legal filing that was waiting for me.
I. Was. Wrong.
I was so wrong! The legal office was an hour commute away and that would mean I would be away from my little one for 10 hours a day. 10 HOURS A DAY?! No way. So I told them I wasn’t coming back and began looking for a milking job, something part time, local and would justify me staying home. I felt like I had to work because we had just bought the farm not more than 4 months prior and I had student loan debt.
5 weeks to the day after I had Stella I started working on a dairy farm that milked 120 cows. My main jobs were cleaning, running heavy machinery, and animal health care for cows and calves. This was too soon. I distinctly remember feeling my pelvic muscles aching an hour into my shift. I had to stop to pump every three hours and because of an oversupply I would start leaking after one hour. There was no bathroom on the farm and would pump wherever I could find privacy, in the freezing cold.
I cried.
I cried because of the hormones. I cried because I deserved better (a bathroom and a decent place to pump at least!!!) I cried because my body was telling me I needed to be nursing my daughter
But I was working and this was important to me. I needed money to buy things. For myself.
My husband has a great job that provides him with a modest salary, and he knew I was struggling with this. He would often times tell me “If you need something just buy it” or “How about we go shopping for new clothes that you feel comfortable in”. I had his support, but it wasn’t him, it was me. There was something about me, so deep inside that made me feel so worthless to ask for money from him. Although I knew that we were married and that all the money is “all of our money” and after all, I did have a job.
A brand new job, one that I have never had before. As a homemaker.
One day I began to realize that all of the things I did at home WERE worth something. I was milking our cow and making butter, cheese, and yogurt. I was caring for our daughter, something that we would have to pay someone to do if I was working. Because I was home I could cloth diaper and make our own baby food. After many conversations, my husband and I considered me not leaving the home for employment, then the best thing that ever could have happened to me happened.
I got laid off.
I began to come up with ways I could provide for my family without having to be somewhere else for multiple hours a day. A way that my husband and I could do all of the childcare for Stella. Here are some of the things I began doing that really required simple skills and also began to restore my self worth
1} I started sewing (again)
Do you have an old sewing machine in your closet that you used to sew on in highschool? I did. So I began searching the internet for easy things I could sew Stella from mostly recycled clothing that we then didn’t have to buy. I made wool diaper covers out of old sweaters and pants that fit over those huge diaper covers out of old t-shirts. I realized that I was kind of good at sewing and that I enjoyed doing it. It was work, afterall.
2} I cooked with forethought
I started cooking much more simply (and cheaply) by making my own stocks and bone broths. I now found the time to properly soak dried beans and rices. Meals that sometimes required days of preparation now were achievable. I now had the time to tend to the stock pot all day. I had time to braise meats, make new types of cheeses, and culture our butter. I found that cooking and planning dinner in the morning and allowing it to cook all day, or be able to be reheated at dinner time was something that I was much more capable of doing. I also found this way of cooking was extremely cheap! We starting saving so much money at the grocery store and found that our home was always full of food, making it a lot less likely to have to go out to eat.
3} I found ways to barter
I used the skills I had (milking cows) to find a way to barter for meat and other food for a few neighbors from time to time, on the mornings when Craig was home to watch Stella. Some moms trade childcare, and I am sure you could come up with a way to use your skills to trade as well!
4} I found ways to save.
I reduced my cell phone plan to the minimum amount of everything, and it saved a ton!! I didn’t even use all of those minutes I was paying for. I have also realized that not keeping a wardrobe worthy of the legal office was quite a huge savings. And the wear and tear on my car driving an hour to work each day.
It has been a long journey in respecting my new job as a homemaker and homesteader. I enjoyed working a full time job that came with a paycheck, and maybe one day I will again. The seasons of life pass so quickly, and I have learned to embrace each one. As a momma, I believe fully in “going with your gut”, if you feel like a situation is stressful or isn’t working for you, question it.
I loved your article! I have a farm in Shelburne. Do you have a cookbook that you use? The cooking aspect is what I really need to work on!!! We raise pigs, chickens and have horses. I grew up on a dairy farm and would love to get a few cows again. I just do not know how you find the time with your little one. I would love some articles with more pointers on saving money with the food budget and how to make cheese, yogurt and butter. What you are doing is amazing for your family!
Heather, thanks so much for the kind words. I often times also ask myself how I do it all with my little one, and to be honest, I don’t. My house is almost always messy and dishes always have to be done, but I constantly remind myself that as long as we are all fed and happy, that is success!! The cookbook I use the most is called “Nourishing Traditions” by Sally Fallon. To keep our food budget in check while also eating local and organic, I make sure to use the whole animal for animals we raise, and for purchased meat we buy the less expensive cuts and organ meats. I also have given up on a perfect looking farm and plant vegetables wherever they grow best and I’ve stopped worrying about doing stuff the “right” way and do what I can. I’ve learned everything I know about farming from fellow Vermont farmers and neighbors. Reach out to the Shelburne farming community!! Get the kids involved! Do what you can and be proud of it!! Happy farming!!