The Day My Son Wandered Off

A few weeks ago my oldest son, the baby, and I were in a busy market where we shop every Sunday (give or take) for our weekly groceries.

We have been going to this market since my oldest was born and he is now almost five years old- making the jump from car seat in the cart to sitting in the seat to sitting IN the cart to now helping with the groceries.  My son is now free range while food shopping, and mostly sticks close by. Often by the time we get to the checkout, he will head over to the water fountain and get a drink, to wash down the plethora of snacks he ate to make it through our trip.  We start in the produce section – a carrot, a banana.  We head to bulk for a few chocolate chips.  Perhaps a yogurt or applesauce pouch and then off to the cheese section where he has a mini sharp cheddar.  By the time I reach the check out my pockets are filled with the wrappers of things to pay for and by now the cashiers who are familiar with us are used to me handing them over and saying, “These were snacks.”

Now that I have two children, when I reach the check out line I am placing my stuff on the belt while craning my neck to keep an eye on my oldest.  It’s typically not a problem.  He gets his drink, chats up a few people, and then comes back.

Only this day, this day, when I ducked and bobbed and weaved and jumped to find him, he wasn’t there.

My heart almost exploded.  Almost.  Have you ever lost your child?  Even for a second?  You know what that feels like?  Oh, is it awful.  One of the worst feelings I have ever experienced.  I looked and looked – walked into the cafe section and back.  To the cafe section and back.  Since I had the baby in the cart, my trips back and forth were in short bursts, my stomach in knots.

“I can’t find my four-year-old son,” I said to the woman bagging my groceries, panic in my voice.

“Where was he?”  she asked.

“He went to get a drink.”

Once again I ran into the cafe section thinking maybe he was talking to someone and I just couldn’t see him.  Nope.  I ran back.  It’s not a big market, he should have been there.

The woman asked if he was in the bathroom.  I replied that it was possible. But I have told him before you WAIT for mama.  You DON’T go by yourself.  She headed over to the service desk ready to make an announcement.  I was holding it together.

Out he walked from the bathroom and over to me with a smile on his face.

A few minutes felt like an eternity.  As any parent knows, you can look away for a millisecond and your child can be gone.  You run through a million different scenarios in your head, most of them things you never want to think about.

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post on how friendly our oldest child is.  How he will talk with anyone.  How he feels comfortable most anywhere.  In the post, I wondered when the time would be to introduce “stranger-danger” to him.

That time was now.  I pulled him over and gave him The Talk. The Stranger Talk.  “You don’t know anyone here!” I said.

“Yes I do” he tried to say.  But I know my kid and I knew what he was getting at.

“Your little brother and I DO NOT count.” I told him.  “You don’t know these people and they don’t know you!”

And so on.

Thing is, this happens, and it happens to all of us.  And we wonder, at least I do, when we will lose a child.  Fortunately, this turned out to be pretty minor, but it was enough of an incident that made me realize my son is now old enough to learn more about how the world works, and now is the time to teach him.