There are probably very few of us who are happy with our post baby bodies.  I know I’m certainly not feeling as good as I want to about the way I look.  And I know that there are only two ways to make myself feel better: eat better and work out more.

Yet, I haven’t done a single thing about losing that baby weight.

Really, it isn’t even the weight I care about, it’s the way my body looks.  I look back to the days where I worked out 3 times a week and was in the best shape I could be (thank you wedding motivation), and long for that body.  Honestly, I’ll probably never get back there after two babies but I’d like to at least try.

I start to run and then two days later I lose steam.  Yes, I can find 30 minutes in my day to work out.  Yes, there are plenty of times I think to myself, “you could be working out right now.”  Honestly though, I’m constantly on the go with the kids and if I find 30 minutes of time, I mostly just want to sit.  Maybe catch up on a tv show or finally read more than 10 pages in a book at a time.

Last week I told my husband that he needs to help me stay motivated and encourage me to eat better.  Then the next day I called him at work and told him to bring home some ice cream.  He said, “I thought you wanted me to help you eat better?”  I said, “yeah, just bring home the ice cream.”  And I enjoyed every bit of it that night.  Then felt guilty the next day. (Poor guy can’t win in this situation!)

I’ve been seeing a lot of things on Facebook recently about finding time for yourself to get healthy.  I’m right there with you.  I want to be healthy.  I want to feel good in a bathing suit.  But I also just want to do absolutely nothing. I want to snap my fingers and be back in that lovely wedding body that becomes a distant memory with each passing day.  I’m too tired to do it all: work, take care of children, and also take care of myself.  Guess who comes last?

I have a feeling I’m not the only one who battles the “I want to feel better about my body but keep doing nothing about it” cycle.  I’m sure even those of us who are in shape feel like they could do more.  Why is that?  Why don’t we just give ourselves a break?  Who are we trying to live up to?

One day I’ll have energy again and I will get on track. I’ll probably give myself a hard time every day until I do. And I’ll likely be eating ice cream along the way.

Whatever.