The Body After Babies: Redefining Beauty series was an amazing event to be a part of. The day of the photo shoot, being surrounded by so many courageous women, it blew my mind.
I actually changed my mind about what to wear for the photo shoot that morning. I was planning to wear yoga pants and a sports bra. But as I looked at myself in the mirror I thought, this looks too good. These pants make me look more shapely than I really am. So I switched to shorts. Yes, I made myself look worse on purpose. What was that all about? The thing was, I didn’t want a “flattering” picture. I wanted to look like me. The real me. When I saw the pictures I even thought it looked better than it should. You can’t see the stretch marks as much as I’d like. Seriously, what was happening to me? I wasn’t nervous to post my pictures and my blog post.
I felt so great, so free. So happy with my body.
So here I am almost a month later reflecting on that day and wondering, “Did it really change me?”
The answer is YES.
I have found that since that photo shoot, since I allowed myself to fully appreciate my body for what it is and what it has done, I have not felt as insecure. Is my stomach hanging over these pants? Who cares. Does my butt look saggy? Probably. Oh well.
It may not seem like a big deal, but after years of letting my insecurity get in the way of what I wear or how I feel, it has been pretty great to say “Who Cares!” and really mean it.
That’s not to say that I’m giving up on taking care of myself. Eating healthy and staying active are very important to me. I’m just not going to force myself to do a million sit ups so I can have washboard abs. Maybe one day I will. Maybe not. The choice will be mine when it feels like the right thing to do for me. Not for anyone expecting me to look a certain way, and that feels so very good.
I’m extremely grateful for to the BVT Moms Blog ladies for encouraging each other to do this. I’m just so very glad I did!